They're running out of letters to describe sex

Seems like every time we turn around they’re adding a new letter to LGBTQ. PJMedia recently ran a story about “Inclusiveness Training” for teachers at a Canadian school district. The aim was to teach teachers to be more tolerant of “LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP” students. I’m not kidding.

It’s an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Twospirit, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Allies, Pansexual, and Polyamorous. Many of these are self-explanatory. Others need explanation.

Genderqueer, PJMedia notes, is “a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.” OK. I guess in their quest to always be different they don’t want to be pigeonholed. 

Demisexual. I love this one. It’s “a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.” That’s the old-fashioned monogamous relationship. You know the one, where you actually meet then fall in love with someone before you jump in the sack with them.

Twospirit. PJ says this “appears to be a third gender not yet discovered by science and only found in the Native American community.” Other than that, we have no idea what this is.

Intersex is what used to be known as a hermaphrodite. That’s someone born with both male and female sex organs. It’s an unfortunate birth defect that is usually corrected. Now, I guess, it’s celebrated.

Questioning is someone who hasn’t made up their mind where they fall. No wonder. There are so many swell choices.

Asexual is someone who has no interest in sex. You’d think that would not even be allowed on this list since the people (or person) who compiled it seem obsessed with sex.

Allies. These are you sensitive ones out there who are constantly showing support for the LGBTOMG people. It’s also the parents of normal kids who are a bit embarrassed that they don’t have one of those trendy LGBTOMG kids. They’re all the rage in LA these days. Come on, Junior. Why couldn’t you grow up to be like Kevin Spacey?

Pansexual is a hip way to describe someone who is bisexual. I had a listener who said it was actually someone who has sex with panhandlers. I had to correct him. That’s a hobosexual.

Then there’s polyamorous. These are the wife-swapping swingers who have been shunned by the rest of us for years as sickos. They’ve found a home in the LGBTOMG community. After all, what could possibly be sick about wanting to see your wife in bed with another man? You people are SO square.

If you wonder why much of the liberal world is now being rocked by sex scandals wonder no more. When you create a world in which anything goes then anything will go. Monogamous relationships may be boring to the hipsters out there but we boring monogamous types will never see our pictures on the Internet alongside the word “groping.”

Nancy Pelosi and others are now trying to say this behavior goes on in every office across the country. Misery loves company. I’ve been in radio for nearly 40 years, one of those dreaded “entertainment” businesses. I’ve never seen a bunch of groping going on. Sorry, Nancy. Nice try at normalizing immoral behavior but most of us aren’t participating. Oh, yeah, there have been office romances and the occasional affair, but most people aren’t grabbing women just because they think they’re can.

I actually saw some woman in the porn industry tweet #MeToo. Seriously? The free-love hippie chickens of the 1960s are coming home to roost. 

Phil Valentine is the host of the award-winning, nationally syndicated talk radio show, The Phil Valentine Show.

When a kiss is not just a kiss

Let’s get some things straight, if you’ll pardon the pun, on this Michael Sam gay kiss thing. If you’re not up to speed on this one, Michael Sam is the first openly gay player to be drafted into the NFL. He went in the seventh round and was seventh from the end to be drafted. After the St. Louis Rams picked him, his boyfriend gave him a smooch on the mouth.

Miami Dolphins safety Don Jones tweeted “OMG” and “horrible” after the kiss. He was fined an undisclosed sum and suspended from team activities until he can undergo re-education by team officials.

Super Bowl champ Derrick Ward tweeted, “I’m sorry but that Michael Sam is no bueno for

doing that on national TV. Man U got little kids lookin’ at the draft. I can’t believe ESPN even allowed that to happen.” Ward got death threats against him and his children.

I have absolutely no problem with Michael Sam playing in the NFL. That’s not even the issue. The issue is the outcry — along with punishment and/or threats — against those who dare say they find two guys kissing repulsive. For those who say that homosexuality is natural for gays I would remind them that a negative reaction to a gay kiss is just as natural for heterosexual men. But the PC crowd is now bound and determined to beat that out of us.

I made the comment on my radio show that if you’re a man and you didn’t have a distasteful reaction to the kiss then you’re either gay or bisexual. Some guys came unglued on me to which I asked, “You have a problem with someone who’s gay?”

It’s an interesting turn of the tables when those who profess to be so open-minded about such things are suddenly offended when their own sexuality is questioned. If, in your mind, there’s nothing wrong with being gay then there’s nothing to be upset about.

The problem is the double standard. When Tim Tebow was drafted in 2010 a Boston sports talker said Tebow’s draft party looked like a Nazi rally, clearly a reference to his religiously conservative principles. The host apologized on the air and that was the end of it. No suspension. No fine. No re-education camp.

NBC Sports reported in 2010 at the NFL Scouting Combine, “Tim Tebow’s habit of openly expressing his religious beliefs could potentially rub folks the wrong way.” Can you imagine the backlash had they reported that Michael Sam’s habit of openly expressing his homosexuality could rub folks the wrong way? Let’s face it. A public gay kiss rubs a lot more people the wrong way than someone expressing their religion. One is discouraged, even ridiculed, while the other is celebrated.

Former New England Patriot Teddy Bruschi opened up a post-draft recap on ESPN by saying the biggest story of the draft was the Michael Sam story. Former Eagles QB Ron Jaworski disagreed, saying the anticipation of Johnny “Football” Manziel’s draft was, by far, the biggest story, and he was right.

Had Michael Sam not been gay no one would’ve noticed. There were those who said he was passed over because of his homosexuality. Then why did three-time national champion quarterback AJ McCarron from Alabama go in the fifth round of the draft at overall pick number 164?

The big deal is not that Michael Sam’s gay. It’s not even the kiss. It’s the reaction to the reaction to the kiss. Stop trying to convince people that their natural reaction to something is somehow wrong or evil. It’s not.

Phil Valentine is the host of the award-winning, nationally syndicated talk radio show, The Phil Valentine Show.

Stop being so sensitive

I’m confused.  Someone needs to issue a rulebook when it comes to dealing with politically correct issues like homosexuality.  Indiana Pacers basketball star Roy Hibbert parenthetically inserted the term “no homo” into an answer to a question about his play in the NBA playoffs.  The term is supposedly used when one makes a comment that may lead one to infer something homosexual only to ensure that he is not.  For example, a typical use of the phrase would be "I absolutely love flowers (no homo) but my favorites are tulips."

Hibbert incurred the wrath of the PC world and was fined $75,000 by the NBA.  Granted, part of the fine was for referring to members of the media as mother f-ers because they hadn’t covered the Pacers to Hibbert’s liking but it was the “no homo” comment that caught the most attention.

You see, I always thought the term “queer” was offensive to homosexuals until I heard about the TV shows Queer as Folk and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, not to mention the organization Queer Nation.  Of course, were I, as a straight guy, to refer to someone homosexual as queer I’d probably be castigated like Roy Hibbert.

The term “fag” is apparently appropriate in certain cases, like the “Million Fag March” put on by homosexual activists each April.  However, if you use the term “faggot” like actress Amanda Bynes did in a tweet, then you hear about it from transvestite RuPaul.  RuPaul tweeted, “Derogatory slurs are ALWAYS an outward projection of a person’s own poisonous self-loathing.”  This from a guy who’s made a career out of dressing up like a woman.  Bynes shot back, “My dad is as ugly as RuPaul.  So thankful I look nothing like you both!”

I’m sure she’s in more hot water for dissing RuPaul than her own father.

Here’s the deal.  If homosexuals want to be treated like everybody else – and most I know do – stop being so overly sensitive about everything.  If your contention is that homosexuals are no different from anyone else then stop freaking out any time someone says something you perceive to be offensive.  I've never taken offense by the term "breeders," which is what some gays call straight folks.

Part of fitting in is not having a hissie-fit over everything you hear.  Maybe I'll start a new TV show: Straight Ear for the Queer Guy.